BOLD AND BIZARRE PREDICTIONS FOR STEELERS VS. JAGUARS
The 6-2-1 Steelers, on
a five-game streak, venture to the dangerous confines of EverBank Field to take
on a dangerous and underachieving team from the AFC South. Will they conquer
the demons that first appeared last October and extended to January? Will
Steeler fans outnumber Jags fans? Will Ben surface into a pick-6 machine
against the NFL’s top-ranked defense? Will a missed Boswell XP kill the
Steelers?
With these storylines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of
predictions (some basic and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this Week 11
contest:
- In a
departure from what has sadly become the norm, Ben
Roethlisberger does not throw a pick-six against the
Jags.
- Ben
does not go sack or interception-free though.
- Leonard
Fournette scores twice, but the Steelers 4th-ranked
rush defense keeps No. 27 less than 60 yards.
- Playing
for Stephon
Tuitt, Tyson
Alualu registers a sack and a forced fumble of Blake
Bortles.
- At
halftime at a Zaxby’s off of I-95, “He Who Shall Not Be Named” performs
his latest rap single, “Raid my locker, but you can’t steal Juice”
to confused tourists and employees.
- To
commemorate the 55th anniversary of the debut of the first push button
phone, JuJu Smith-Schuster rejoices
a touchdown by pulling out a 15-lb, beige job by from 1963 and attempting
to live stream. Upon realizing you can’t tweet on the artifact, No. 19
tries to go to his backup plan but trips over the aforementioned phone’s
cord instead.
- Although
friends, tensions rise between Jalen
Ramsey and Antonio
Brown.
- Vance
McDonald goes off in this game. Ben finds him over
eight times.
- Artie
Burns, dreading the loneliness of the bench, makes his way
to the upper-level pool and chills with the hot people.
- In the
end, the Steelers edge out the home team 27-23 to extend their winning
streak to six.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or
two. Heck, maybe every one of them.
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