On August 19, the WWE Network presents the 31st annual
SummerSlam, “the biggest event of the summer.” There are 13 matches on this
card, truly reminding us all that SummerSlam is basically “WrestleMania, but in
the summer.” Emanating from Barclays Center in Brooklyn, NY for the fourth year
in a row, SummerSlam will see every championship on the WWE main roster
defended. Let’s look at the match-ups...
CEDRIC ALEXANDER
(C) VS. DREW GULAK, FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, ON THE SUMMERSLAM
KICKOFF SHOW (205 LIVE)
THE STORY: Since winning the Cruiserweight
Championship for the first time at WrestleMania 34, Cedric Alexander has been a
hungry champion, always looking for competition. And who could be more competitive
for the Cruiserweight Championship than the man who seemingly fights for the
opposite of everything the Cruiserweight Division is supposed to be?
High-octane, fast-paced, and high-flying? Not in Gulak’s 205 Live. And after
defeating TJP, Hideo Itami, and the other 205 Live favorite, Mustafa Ali, in a
Fatal 4-Way in July to determine the No. 1 contender to the Cruiserweight
Championship, Gulak’s vision for 205 Live could be just around the corner.
PREDICTION: As much as Gulak probably deserves
the championship (and if they could’ve made the WrestleMania match a Triple
Threat, they should have), 205 Live still needs something to actually make the
WWE Universe stand up and take notice. As it stands, expectedly being on the
pre-show won’t help, even if the match is amazing. (The exception is when The
New Day or The Usos are on the pre-show, because it’s not as though they’re
treated like the also-rans of WWE.) If there’s going to be a title change on
this pre-show, it’s probably going to be this one, but Cedric Alexander could
just as easily be Cruiserweight Champion forever.
THE B-TEAM (C) VS.
THE REVIVAL, FOR THE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, ON THE SUMMERSLAM KICKOFF SHOW
(RAW)
THE STORY: Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel are the WWE
RAW Tag Team Champions—Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel are winners—so nothing really
makes sense anymore. They defeated The Deleters of Worlds (Woken Matt Hardy and
Bray Wyatt) at Extreme Rules to win the championship, after defeating them to
even become No. 1 contenders, and then they beat them in the rematch.
Meanwhile, The Revival got involved as one of the few true tag teams in RAW’s
division. (Some say you can still watch the Authors of Pain face Titus
Worldwide right now. Wherever you are.) On the go-home show, all three teams
had a Triple Threat for the championship. Again, the B-Team retained, with
Curtis Axel pinning Bray Wyatt to keep the previously most losings team on WWE
TV on their win streak. However, some might say they stole the win from The
Revival, as it was a Shatter Machine that actually put Wyatt away (with Axel
pushing Scott Dawson off for the cover). Since The Revival isn’t the team that
actually lost in this particular case, they’re still in title contention.
PREDICTION: The
B-Team is on a bizarre roll right now, and while The Revival deserves a
championship run to prove their worth as top guys, it might not be time to put
an end to the current surreal RAW Tag Team CHAMPIONSHIP SITUATION.
RUSEV & LANA
VS. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS & ZELINA VEGA, ON THE SUMMERSLAM KICKOFF SHOW (SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: In a WWE.com exclusive, Zelina Vega
referred to Almas as “twice the man that Rusev will ever be,” arguing that he
deserves to face WWE Champion AJ Styles at SummerSlam instead of Rusev (who
failed to defeat Styles at Extreme Rules, thanks to Aiden English). Later, Vega
would call Lana the “dead weight that is dragging down her husband.” Simply
put, she disrespected Rusev Day. Now, both men (and their female counterparts)
are on the pre-show while Samoa Joe gets that title match distinction. But as a
result of the initial Vega takedown, we got a fire Almas/Rusev match out of
this, hampered only by Lana and Zelina's ringside brawl (which explains the
mixed match challenge) and Aiden English accidentally bumping into Lana when
trying to bring order, distracting Rusev enough to cost him the match. Again.
For weeks, English continued to screw up during his attempts to help both Rusev
and Lana. And while Rusev eventually forgave him, English still wanted to prove
his dedication to the Rusev Day and Lana Day causes: which he did by
challenging Almas (who English considered “the root of the problem,” not his
own shortcomings), to disastrous results. Will this mixed match challenge be
the end of both Rusev Day and Lana Day? Well, Rusev, Lana, and the WWE
Universe all vehemently disagree.
PREDICTION: Aiden English continues to promise
he’ll make things up to Rusev, and perhaps this tag team match will be the
moment that turns the tide and brings the Rusev Day team back to the cohesive
unit we all know and love. Probably not though—Andrade “Cien” Almas and Zelina
Vega have this in the bag.
FINN BALOR VS. CONSTABLE
CORBIN (RAW)
THE STORY: Even with a promotion to constable,
Baron Corbin hasn’t learned to stop picking on smaller guys who are more
talented than him, so of course he’s going after the “undersized” Finn Balor.
He’s even putting actual effort into it too, with things like a toy playhouse
to sub-in as Balor’s dressing room or a coloring book (because he’s saying
Balor is a literal child in the WWE, and there is a
precedent). The problem is, Balor has yet to get upset about all of
it, because of the more talented smaller guy thing. At the go-home show, as a
way to prove momentum going into SummerSlam, Corbin took on Tyler Breeze to
present “a small taste” of what he’ll do to Finn Balor at SummerSlam. Then,
using his position of authority, Corbin booked Balor to have his warm-up match
against former WWE Champion Jinder Mahal… and Kevin Owens. But then Kurt added
Braun Strowman to help out his little buddy, allowing Balor to win this particular
battle. Unfortunately, a sneak attack and an End of Days from Constable Corbin
after the match prevented Balor from fully celebrating. But the Greensboro
crowd made their thoughts known on the cheap shot: “YOU STILL SUCK,” they
chanted at a mighty smug Corbin.
PREDICTION: The Constable Corbin character for
Baron Corbin allows him to be a goof punching bag for the good guys on the show
in a way that works, unlike his previously goof punching bag status as Baron
Corbin, loser of Money in the Bank and attempted murderer. Finn Balor takes
this (like he did at Extreme Rules), but Corbin goes after some other
“undersized” superstar the following night on RAW to make himself look big
again. (Bonus points if Corbin actually wins this match through illegal tactics,
only for Kurt Angle to restart the match for Balor to win. Goof punching
bag.)
SHINSUKE NAKAMURA
(C) VS. JEFF HARDY, FOR THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP (SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: Shinsuke Nakamura won the United
States Championship at Extreme Rules by starting the match off with his true
finisher. That would be fist to dick, not knee to face. Then Randy Orton showed
up and went after Jeff Hardy as well, and honestly, that’s it. The story is
that Nakamura is United States Champion now, but the actual feud is between
Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy. Nakamura is actually living out a scene from
"The Wedding Singer" right now: “He’s losing his mind. And I’m
reaping all the benefits.”
PREDICTION: Now that Randy Orton has a bone to
pick with Jeff Hardy—and has a strange type of mutually beneficial relationship
with Nakamura—it looks more like the inevitable endgame for this match will
focus on that instead of Nakamura’s go-to finishing move. This is a successful
Shinsuke Nakamura title defense, especially since Orton/Hardy really doesn’t
need a championship to get the story across.
DOLPH ZIGGLER (C)
VS. SETH ROLLINS, FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP (RAW)
THE STORY: Ziggler’s confidence and cockiness
has broken through the glass ceiling of WWE ever since getting Drew McIntyre in
his corner, to the point he’s now Intercontinental Champion again and openly
goes on TV in 2018 with the same hairstyle as both Greg “The Hammer” Valentine
and Evolution-era Triple H. Seth Rollins, on the other hand, may be burning it down,
but his Shield brothers haven’t exactly been available to help him right
now—and unfortunately, Tyler Breeze is not considered good enough back-up for
“The Architect.” In the final RAW before SummerSlam, Seth had “travel issues”
when it came to making it to the arena in time, which Ziggler and McIntyre took
to mean he was ducking them and wouldn’t sign their SummerSlam contract… which
couldn’t be more wrong, as the “travel issues” weren’t Seth’s, they were the
issues of a returning (looking real jacked and sporting a new haircut) Dean
Ambrose. Finally, after weeks of “WE WANT AMBROSE” chants, the WWE Universe got
exactly what it wants, with the returning Ambrose as the equalizer to Ziggler’s
heavy in Drew McIntyre.
PREDICTION: Seth Rollins gets the championship
back—with a little help from his friend—simply because the thought of Ziggler
throwing a fit with his current hairstyle is the funniest imagery in the
world.
THE BLUDGEON
BROTHERS (C) VS. THE NEW DAY, FOR THE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP (SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: The New Day won a four-team tag
tournament to be named the new No. 1 contenders to the SmackDown Tag Team
Champions. Meanwhile, The Bludgeons (which doesn’t really make sense to call
them when “The Brothers” is right there) sometimes wrestle against local talent
that doesn’t exactly prove they can maintain that same dominance against actual
WWE superstars. Perspective: James Ellsworth is more of a threat than the
scrubs that have been bludgeoned lately. Not really much of a story, you see.
By the way, if you have not gotten a chance to watch all three tag team
tournament matches, please do yourself a favor and seek them out. The only
negative about these matches and the tournament itself is that they weren’t
longer.
PREDICTION: The Bludgeon Brothers have yet to
click as a team, despite their past as a team in The Wyatt Family and the fact
that they are in fact the tag team champions. Hopefully this is the match to
change that perception, especially since we all know The New Day and Luke Harper
especially know how to put on a great show in the ring. But (also) hopefully
they put on a great show with The New Day getting the W in the end.
BRAUN STROWMAN VS.
KEVIN OWENS, FOR STROWMAN’S MONEY IN THE BANK CONTRACT (RAW)
THE STORY: For reasons that still aren’t quite
clear, Braun Strowman has taken the obsession he used to have with Roman Reigns
and focused it all on Kevin Owens since the Money in the Bank pay-per-view. In
fact, in the Money in the Bank match, Strowman basically tried to kill Owens
for trying to kill him first. After Strowman became the “Monster in the Bank,”
Owens smartly attempted to befriend him, to no avail. But because Braun
Strowman is a sadist, a simple no on the friendship wouldn’t suffice, so
instead he continued to torture Kevin Owens—in the parking lot, in the
port-o-potty, on top of a steel cage, during The Kevin Owens Show. Proving he’s
not a complete victim—and using his brain, because Braun throwing him off the
top of said steel cage at the Extreme Rules pay-per-view actually meant Owens
had a win over “The Monster Among Men”—Owens got this match at SummerSlam made,
for a chance at Strowman’s Money in the Bank contract. The more specific
stipulation for this match is that Kevin Owens can still win the contract even
if Strowman loses the match by DQ or count out or… beating Owens up too hard.
PREDICTION: Braun Strowman is one of the last
people who “needs” a Money in the Bank contract—though I certainly understand
why WWE would want a reason to say “Monster in the Bank”—especially when the
contract has always been something that benefits the opportunistic or at least
reveals the holder to be such. (Which is why someone like John Cena—who is too
much about hustle, loyalty, and respect—loses his previously announced cash-in match.)
Kevin Owens is a prize fighter, and Money in the Bank contract without the
headache of ladders the prize.
CARMELLA (C) VS.
BECKY LYNCH VS. CHARLOTTE FLAIR, FOR THE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
(SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: In case you missed it, Mella is
money. She’s also made quite a number of enemies on the SmackDown women’s
roster; so naturally, it was only a matter of time before two of the blue
brand’s top female Superstars decided to come after her and her SmackDown
Women’s Championship. Especially with no more James Ellsworth around to
interfere. Sure, she’s beaten both Asuka and Charlotte Flair—twice—but Becky
Lynch beat her to get this match, and so did Charlotte. And despite being the
champion, Carmella still gets no respect around SmackDown. In fact, the
recently-returned Charlotte Flair even drops the mic and tells it to
Carmella straight: “You’re a Diva, living a Women’s Era.” But
Carmella is proud to be called a Diva, even if she’s got one hell of a mountain
to climb in the form of this Triple Threat match.
PREDICTION: With WWE, it’s quite easy to be
pessimistic when Becky Lynch is involved. In fact, her recent win streak is so
positive that you can assume SummerSlam will be the night when the rug is swept
from right underneath her. But for once, let the optimism run through your
veins: Becky Lynch, get it done.
ALEXA BLISS (C)
VS. RONDA ROUSEY, FOR THE RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP (RAW)
THE STORY: After interfering in Ronda Rousey’s
first championship match at Money in the Bank, and winning the RAW Women’s
Championship herself (due to cashing in her Money in the Bank contract), Alexa
Bliss has dedicated her time to gloating (of course) and referring to Rousey as
an “overrated, overhyped rookie.” The first time she did this, the night after
Money in the Bank, she provoked Rousey enough to get powerbombed through a
table… and get Rousey suspended for WWE for 30 days. That suspension didn’t
stop Rousey from getting a front row seat to the Extreme Rules pay-per-view
though. And when Alexa Bliss used her numbers advantage (in the form of her
partner in crime Mickie James) to help her in her title defense against former
champion Nia Jax (who had Natalya in her corner), Rousey jumped the barricade
and played equalizer. Unfortunately, the chaos led to Bliss retaining and
getting away from Rousey unscathed. Assuming she was free from Rousey the
following night on RAW (as Rousey’s suspension was not up until that
Wednesday); Bliss ran her mouth some more, only stopping once Rousey descended
from the crowd. For this Rousey was suspended for one more week—and Bliss got
away unscathed again, while James wasn’t as lucky—but given the No. 1
contendership to the RAW Women’s Championship if she honored that suspension
extension. And she did.
PREDICTION: So, before news broke on Monday that
Natalya’s father, WWE legend Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, passed away, the
scenario looked simple: Alexa Bliss would live to hold the title another day,
especially if “Ronda’s friend” Natalya finally decided to stop being polite and
start getting real. In this case, “getting real” would mean “looking for the
spotlight over the overhyped rookie she’s spent all this time mentoring.”
That’s still quite possibly what will happen—and very WWE—but the words “too
soon” would also keep flashing because of that. Bliss is still winning on
Sunday though.
AJ STYLES (C) VS.
SAMOA JOE, FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP (SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: This match technically has quite a
bit of history behind it, but the majority of that history was back in the
men’s TNA Impact
Wrestling days. This feud acknowledges that they go way back
and that Samoa Joe even knows Styles’ family, but that familiarity truly breeds
contempt here. Striking from out of nowhere during a contract signing-slash-No.
1 contendership reveal and choking Styles out, Joe’s come into this whole thing
from a business standpoint instead of personal. Well, except for when it comes
to the mind games he’s playing here, verbally going after AJ’s family man
persona every chance he possibly gets. With Styles doing everything he can to
be the bigger man in this situation—even though he admits Joe has hurt him with
the things he’s been saying and that whole choking out incident—Joe decided to
go nuclear on the go-home show, firing back at Styles psychologically by reading
“fan mail” to him about abandoning his family… supposedly
written by Styles’ wife Wendy.
PREDICTION: AJ Styles just surpassed JBL’s
record as the longest-reigning WWE Champion in SmackDown history, which seems
insane because JBL’s championship reign felt like it lasted as long as Brock
Lesnar’s Universal Championship reign right now. Styles’ reign has technically
been good, but it’s also been marred by less-than-stellar feuds. But it’s still
something to celebrate. Which is why Samoa Joe should end that reign this
Sunday: This feud has been short, but in this short time, it surprisingly
hasn’t led to Styles going straight for Joe. (At least, not onscreen.)
He might just do that if Joe wins the title from him after talking all this
trash.
BROCK LESNAR (C)
VS. ROMAN REIGNS, FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP (RAW)
THE STORY: If all you know is that Roman Reigns
considers himself the only one who can beat Brock Lesnar, despite never beating
Brock Lesnar—since WrestleMania 31, in 2015—then you technically know all you
need to know about this feud. But to add more background, at WWE’s Greatest
Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia back in April, Roman Reigns lost to Brock Lesnar
again. This time it was in a cage match, and this time it was due to a finish
that required pinpoint accuracy (and didn’t have it), so now Roman Reigns is
now “the uncrowned champion.” (There was some stuff with Bobby Lashley, but it
ultimately didn’t matter, because Roman Reigns is now the No. 1 contender).
Also, Brock Lesnar has gotten on RAW General Manager Kurt Angle’s last nerve,
as he calls him “the worst champion of all-time,” but that apparently doesn’t
encourage him to strip Lesnar of the title—instead, he wants Reigns to kick
Lesnar’s ass. (Imagine a SummerSlam where the entire show is a gauntlet match
where the entire roster faces Brock Lesnar instead. That is how you punish a
terrible champion, Kurt.) Lesnar’s ego and people-hating have seemingly reached
all-time highs though, because now he’s even taking his frustration out on his
advocate Paul Heyman, slapping him around and making sure he knows they’re not
friends. As a result, on the go-home show for SummerSlam, Heyman goes as far as
to offer his services to Reigns—contract already in hand—as he knows how to
conquer the beast. Heyman even gets real with Reigns to the point of speaking
Samoan to him. Oh yes—it ends up being a fakeout. One in which Paul Heyman
sprays Roman Reigns blind with pepper spray, leaving him open to victimization
by Brock Lesnar. It was all a ruse and Lesnar shows up to destroy Reigns. Then
leave. Then destroy Reigns again. All while Heyman holds the Universal
Championship high above his head. If this sounds familiar, that’s because it’s
the same as the build-up to WrestleMania 34, only with pepper spray instead of
handcuffs and not as many returns to the beatdown.
PREDICTION: While it would be kind of funny
again at this point for Roman Reigns to lose in a match against Brock
Lesnar—again, but note that doesn’t quite say lose “to” Brock Lesnar due to the
way this story’s been going—since WrestleMania, it’s been best to root for
Roman Reigns to win, just to get this all over with. Unless you really do
believe Brock is the Sable to Roman’s Luna, then Roman will never beat him… and
in this scenario, Brock would drop the title to whoever the modern day male
equivalent of Debra is. Either way, like the build-up to WrestleMania 34, this
is all leading to another Brock Lesnar win. Especially since they telegraph
what might just be the finish of the match, a spear into a guillotine.
THE MIZ VS. DANIEL
BRYAN (SMACKDOWN)
THE STORY: This is literally a WWE story eight years
in the making, featuring an attention to detail that’s both atypical
for WWE and kind of a happy accident. No one could have imagined Daniel Bryan
would have to retire from in-ring competition and then be allowed to unretire
from in-ring competition, now could they? While both men have gotten their
hands on each other since Bryan has been cleared to compete, now is the time
for it in the center of the squared circle, in competition—not just in a
backstage segment or with what WWE calls “a slew of
babies.” Miz and Bryan are two characters who couldn’t be any
more different. One is essentially the amalgamation of his perception of sports
entertainers (just see his time on The Real World) and A-list actors (just see
John Cena); the other prides himself on being a professional wrestler, even
though he’s actually really good at the sports entertainer thing.
In Miz’s version of things, Bryan has been obsessed with him
for the past eight years, and this will be the match that finally puts an end
to that. In Bryan’s version of things, Miz has needed to get punched in the
face for the past eight years, and this will be the match that finally allows
that to happen.
PREDICTION: The Miz is going to win and gloat
about it for the rest of his in-ring career. And knowing The Miz, that could be
for the rest of time.
