STEELERS AT BENGALS, WEEK 6

BOLD AND BIZARRE PREDICTIONS FOR A GRUDGE MATCH IN THE QUEEN CITY

The 2-2-1 Steelers visit the 4-1 Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday at Paul Brown Stadium in a key AFC North showdown. Both teams’ fan bases perceive the opposing team as irresponsible bullies and fines/casualties will be extremely high in this one.

With this storyline and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this Week-6 contest:

·         Antonio Brown realizes his lowest output of the season matched-up opposite William Jackson III.

·         Big Ben Roethlisberger puts together a solid four quarters, but still has a pick recorded.

·         Not sure whether to gear his TD celebration towards the death anniversary of high-ranking Nazi Erwin Rommell or the 15th anniversary of the Bartman incident at Wrigley, JuJu celebrates his first quarter TD by commemorating fabled NFL coach Jerry Glanville’s 77th birthday by donning an Elvis wig and pantomiming receiving free tickets at will call.

·         Apparently having watched a lot of WWE archival programming on his suspension, Vontaze Burfict hits JuJu Smith-Schuster with an RKO, a Tomb Stone Pile Driver and puts a living snake on him in the process. Having done nothing but exist, Smith-Schuster is somehow ejected along with No. 55.

·         Despite nearly killing JuJu, Bengal fans cry persecution on behalf of Burfict,

·         Sean Davis picks Andy Dalton for six.

·         The Steelers running game continues to set up the pass as James Conner has his third hundred-yard game of the season and out-gains Joe Mixon in the process.

·         After reporting on Friday, Le’Veon Bell does not suit up but debuts his latest rap single at the half, 2 Late 2 Play Me, But Still Pay Me.

·         The Steelers eclipse six sacks as a team again, with T.J. Watt getting two of them.

·         Steelers fans call for all 2-point conversion tries after the game, as Chris Boswell misses another extra-point attempt.

Despite some lapses on defense, Pittsburgh prevails. Steelers 27 Bengals 26.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them.